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Is It Just Me That’s Useless With Flat Pack Furniture?

Posted on 6 0

I’ve always had trouble with flat pack furniture. The stuff they sell by the lorry load at places like Ikea. These days I try to buy furniture already assembled. It’s been a simple ambition of mine to have my very own man shed. A refuge where I can go an please myself as to what I do in there!

A Deluxe Sherman Shed, ooooh.

Two weeks ago I called into a local builders yard as they were advertising they had a shed sale. Bargain time, so in I went. I always thought a shed was, well, a shed. Four sides and a roof. They had hundreds, all shapes and sizes. You could live in some of them, they were bigger than my house.

A guy came over and asked me what I was looking for. I told him that I had got no more than £250 to spend. He was most helpful and after about half an hour I had settled on the “Deluxe Sherman Shed” complete with all fixtures and fittings. There was only one problem. I either assembled it myself or they could do it for £300!!! That’s £50 more than I paid for it!!

It can’t be too difficult to put a shed up, can it? Probably not, but for me it became a bloody nightmare! Who knew how many parts there are to a shed? So many questions. How do you hold one side up when trying to attach another side to it? Why have I put the door against the wall side so I can’t open it? Oh my! There were many more questions to be answered before the weekend was done.

Easy peasy!

How My Shed Looked.

The instructions say it should take no more than 2 hours to complete. I think they meant 2 weeks. It was a real struggle and somehow, my completed version didn’t look like the shed I’d bought. There’s even a poster of me included in the purchase, this goes on the outer wall to show who’s shed it is. It ended in the bin with about 35 other bits and pieces that I couldn’t find where to fit them.

I had this dream that I could sit in my little 6 x 2 wooden empire, playing my guitar, reading, painting or anything I wanted to do. By Monday morning, despite having the world and his dog laugh at my building efforts, the damn thing was filled with old bikes, a broken washing machine and all sorts of useless paraphernalia. Talk about being fed-up! Anyway, it leaks in the rain.

6 Responses
  • angloswiss
    June 6, 2017

    I think that was where I learned my Swiss German vocabulary of swearing. Just watching Mr. Swiss assemble a simple chest of drawers and find at the end that a screw is missing somewhere, or that he has a few screws too many. We have the solution. I have an autistic son and he has his talents. The flat pack is unpacked and he is called. He takes a look, and without a single profanity, we have the completed work of flat pack art within an hour with no spare screws. Of course Mr. Swiss keeps an eye on the situation, but refrains from passing comments when my expert son is doing the work and concentrating. Of course he would be glad to help you, with no extra costs. You would just have to get him the plane ticket to England from Switzerland and feed him: no problem 🙂

    • admin
      June 7, 2017

      Thank you Angloswiss. I’ve just found your message after a spambot hid it with others. I thought it was quiet. Thank you again.

  • inkdropk
    June 8, 2017

    Hi Trev. I too have the same trepidation when it comes to flatpack furniture, although to be honest – its better than it was now I’ve mastered the art of the allen key! – I still FEAR IKEA!

    • admin
      June 9, 2017

      Thanks inkdrop. I find the older I get, the more I struggle with it.

  • Leland Olson Hoel
    June 21, 2017

    You should have bought the 8 by 12 metal building with the fancy double sliding doors. That is the first project I ever did when I had a thousand screws left over when I thought I was finished. The screws were so short I couldn’t hold them in my nubby little fingers. I also lost hundreds of them, it somehow went up and stood for several years before an 80 mile-an-hour wind tipped it over. That is one-time when wind damage was really a blessing.

    • Trev Jones
      June 21, 2017

      Ha, if only I could afford it, Leland. 🙂

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