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On Yer Bike

On Yer Bike!

There’s an expression they use in these parts, ‘On Yer Bike!’  When translated means clear off, go away, scram, vamoosh. It’s a polite way of telling someone to #*$@ off.  Not having heard it in a while, that was until the other day as I was passing a butchers shop and I heard someone shouting it to a customer! I know, that’s customer service for you these days.

It took me back to when I was younger, much younger. Recently wed and short of cash I needed a way to raise some money. In a bid to raise the incoming moulah I got myself a push bike. Back then, I was smoking around 30 cigarettes per day and thinking of ways to save money and get healthier. Not once did I think of giving up it up, which would have been the best way.

I spent my life savings on a bike

I spent my life savings on a pushbike to cycle to work and back. Wifey was very happy, she was thinking of the money we’d save in bus fares. I would buy her a new potato peeler, that’s how hard the times were we faced back then. My plan was to follow the bus route to work, which was about half an hour’s bike ride. It was downhill all the way.

That hurt!

I think it was sometime in early October on a chilly Autumnal Monday morning when I took the first steps to riding my bike to work. A colleague of mine was a regular cyclist and he told me to keep my head down and go for it. Not a great idea. It took ten minutes before I was stopped abruptly by running into the back of a lorry! Apart from the total shock, it really hurt.

A blubbering mess

From then on, I made sure I kept my head up. I arrived at work with eight minutes to spare, although I was completely knackered! Done in, fit for nothing, useless blubbering mess!! Trying to walk was a nightmare, let alone work. This was a disaster and needed nipping in the bud a.s.a.p. It took me until lunch time to make anywhere near some sort of recovery.

I had made my mind up by ‘cup of tea time’ at 11:00am. There’s no way I’ll be riding that thing home tonight. I’m going on the bus. As luck would have it, one of the guys at work was looking for a decent bike for his son. A little bit of persuasion and some wheeling and dealing, and the bike was his.

I got the number 17 bus home at 5 o’clock and was in the house for 5:30pm. Wifey wasn’t too pleased when I told her what I’d done. I did buy her the new potato peeler from the sale proceeds of the bike. Guess what she said to me when I said I was sorry? Yep, On Yer Bike!!!

12 Responses
  • susiesopinions
    September 26, 2017

    Haven’t heard on your bike in ages. I got a used one to do a paper round, and it got run over.. Since then I have hated bikes.

    • Trev Jones
      September 26, 2017

      Oh dear. I know I shall never ride one again

  • Covert Novelist
    September 27, 2017

    I remember my first brand new bike at age 12. I hated it. I still hate bikes. My daughter rides to work on a bike and home (well half way) as they have a biking club going on and she’s part of it. It means getting up at 4 am to get to work by 5 15 to start at 5 30. Needless to say, she won’t be riding to work if it’s pouring (ruins the work clothes and makeup and hair and working in a professional capacity) that doesn’t work. We also have snow so winter’s are out but she’s determined to bike even if it means joining a gym. Yeck! I still hate biking.

    • Trev Jones
      September 28, 2017

      I’m with you, I hate bikes. Years ago, you could get on one and just ride, nowadays, the amount of kit they recommend you wear costs more than the bike. Plus it adds an extra hour dressing up and removing it when you get to your destination.

  • Bryntin
    September 28, 2017

    My avatar might give you the hint that I actually quite like cycling. I don’t do all that haring about fast stuff though and, since retiring, not commuting either. None of ‘the kit’ is really needed, hop on in whatever you’re wearing and go. The simplicity of that is just missed by the racing and competitive focus thrust upon modern cycling.

    • Trev Jones
      September 29, 2017

      I have been riding on those gym bikes lately in an effort to keep fit. But, with traffic how it is today, I don’t think I’ll be in a rush to get on the roads.

  • Plantsandbeyond
    September 29, 2017

    Dear Trev, you have been nominated for blogger recognition award ;)))🌱🌱 Have a great weekend

    • Trev Jones
      October 2, 2017

      Really? Well I thank you very much. Thank you. 🙂

  • Photography Journal Blog
    October 4, 2017

    I have never heard this expression, maybe because I’m such a pleasant person 🙂 Probably closer to the truth is I didn’t grow up here.

    • Trev Jones
      October 4, 2017

      In the UK, it’s quite a popular expression, particularly around the Midlands.

  • zumpoems
    October 13, 2017

    As always, very well written! Another English expression I don’t hear here in the states, is “off you go!”, which of course, is a positive expression in contrast to “On yer bike.”

    • Trev Jones
      October 16, 2017

      Thank you very much Zumpoems, your kind words are very much appreciated. 🙂

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