On Yer Bike!
There’s an expression they use in these parts, ‘On Yer Bike!’ When translated means clear off, go away, scram, vamoosh. It’s a polite way of telling someone to #*$@ off. Not having heard it in a while, that was until the other day as I was passing a butchers shop and I heard someone shouting it to a customer! I know, that’s customer service for you these days.
It took me back to when I was younger, much younger. Recently wed and short of cash I needed a way to raise some money. In a bid to raise the incoming moulah I got myself a push bike. Back then, I was smoking around 30 cigarettes per day and thinking of ways to save money and get healthier. Not once did I think of giving up it up, which would have been the best way.
I spent my life savings on a bike
I spent my life savings on a pushbike to cycle to work and back. Wifey was very happy, she was thinking of the money we’d save in bus fares. I would buy her a new potato peeler, that’s how hard the times were we faced back then. My plan was to follow the bus route to work, which was about half an hour’s bike ride. It was downhill all the way.
I think it was sometime in early October on a chilly Autumnal Monday morning when I took the first steps to riding my bike to work. A colleague of mine was a regular cyclist and he told me to keep my head down and go for it. Not a great idea. It took ten minutes before I was stopped abruptly by running into the back of a lorry! Apart from the total shock, it really hurt.
A blubbering mess
From then on, I made sure I kept my head up. I arrived at work with eight minutes to spare, although I was completely knackered! Done in, fit for nothing, useless blubbering mess!! Trying to walk was a nightmare, let alone work. This was a disaster and needed nipping in the bud a.s.a.p. It took me until lunch time to make anywhere near some sort of recovery.
I had made my mind up by ‘cup of tea time’ at 11:00am. There’s no way I’ll be riding that thing home tonight. I’m going on the bus. As luck would have it, one of the guys at work was looking for a decent bike for his son. A little bit of persuasion and some wheeling and dealing, and the bike was his.
I got the number 17 bus home at 5 o’clock and was in the house for 5:30pm. Wifey wasn’t too pleased when I told her what I’d done. I did buy her the new potato peeler from the sale proceeds of the bike. Guess what she said to me when I said I was sorry? Yep, On Yer Bike!!!