Bloop Bloop !#*##

My Mom was always on the lookout for a bargain, something useful for the home that perhaps no other home had and was great value for money. In honesty, a lot of the bargains she bought was nothing more than complete tat. Her heart was certainly in the right place, but good grief, her eye for something useful could be a little, let’s say, off.

The Bowl

One of the best purchases she ever made, from my point of view, it gave me many a chuckle, was a hang on the wall plastic fishbowl. It’s hard to describe this item, but I will give it a go. Imagine a giant Polo mint but made from plastic. The back was flat to lie against the wall. The centre of the ring was hollow, just like the mint. So you had this circular plastic tube with a hole in either side about halfway up where you would fill it with water.

My Attempt at Describing the Donut Goldfish Bowl

Oh My

Through the holes, you would place a couple of Goldfish and the idea was that they would swim around the circumference of this faux pas happily ever after. That’s what the seller told my Mother and she took it all in. He even sold her a couple of Goldfish to bring home with her to start this marvel of aquatic engineering. I could see the look on my Dad’s face as she turned up with her plastic bag of fish and a dishevelled cardboard box containing the tank. His eyes peered over his glasses while under his breath the words were muttered, ‘…what the bloody hell?!’

Interesting

As I recall, the fish were put into a rather large jam boiler filled with water for safekeeping. My Dad, still muttering away to himself set about fixing this plastic ‘mint with the hole’ to the wall, bearing in mind it needs to be easily removed for cleaning and changing the water on a regular basis. Thankfully, it didn’t take him too long to get the thing level, safe and easy to remove when needed. The cussing, for now, was kept to a minimum. All that was left now was to fill the contraption with water. This is where it gets really interesting.

Instructions

The instructions said you have to fill the bathtub full of water. This is because you have to submerge the bowl while keeping it upright at all times. Otherwise, a slight tilt and an air bubble will get in and the water will only remain at the bottom of the tube a few inches deep, certainly not enough for two budding Goldfish. I could tell by now that my Dad’s minimal initial enthusiasm was waning. There were more ‘……what the bloody hells’ and much worse at the thought of filling the bath every couple of days to its brim.

The First Bloop

Even when the bowl had been filled and extracted from the bath with the precision of a bomb disposal officer defusing an unexploded bomb, there was more to come. My Dad had to make the journey downstairs and get this thing back on the wall keeping everything perfectly straight to avoid the air bubble event. I was sat downstairs in the living room, avoiding this debacle, but desperately trying not to laugh. On his first attempt, he must have got down to the tenth step when there was ‘bloop bloop’ from the water followed by an unprintable expression of expletives. Back upstairs he went to repeat the filling exercise all over again.

There’ll Be A Drought

He was getting better, he made it to the twelfth step on his second attempt before ‘bloop bloop, ah #*$% hell’ happened. This went on for the best part of the day, up and down and somehow, after using what must have been half of Birmingham City Corporation’s water supply, he got the thing on the wall complete with two goldfish. To be honest, it was a minor miracle. They put a couple of plants in there with a sprinkle of fish food and sat back to enjoy it. The fish didn’t seem at all impressed and sat near the bottom staring at each other.

The following morning, my Dad was first up and making his way into the living room, drew back the curtains and was horrified to see the bowl was devoid of any fish! He was shocked, there were two Goldfish laying very still on the chair below. That was the end of that.

How to look after a Goldfish.

Leave a Reply to denise421winCancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

56 Comments
  • Roadtirement
    December 4, 2021

    We used to regularly set up as vendors at fairs, festivals and flea markets. I can see this round fish bowl contraption being a unique item to hawk at the above referenced events. However, I would only sell them on the last day as I would not want to be around when the customer returned the item the next day after giving up after step 10…

    • Trev
      December 4, 2021

      Lol. I know you’re right. Thank you ????

  • Webb Blogs
    December 4, 2021

    Oh my goodness I almost spilled my morning coffee from laughing. I love this story. Now I want a wall bowl. (Minus the dead fish) I wonder if there’s any made these days.

    • Trev
      December 4, 2021

      Thank you. I’m sure there are modern versions which don’t require removing them from the wall to fill up. ????

  • derrickjknight
    December 4, 2021

    Why not leave the bath to the fish?

    • Trev
      December 4, 2021

      I think it would have been better to have left the fish altogether. Thank you Derrick. ????

  • Yetismith
    December 4, 2021

    Oh dear. Poor little fishies. Did they jump out in protest or was it a suicide pact?

    • Trev
      December 4, 2021

      I don’t know, but I guess they were never going to be happy. Thank you, Yeti. ????

  • Libby
    December 4, 2021

    Ha, ha, ha! How I remember fair-ground goldfish in poly bags! Don’t think I’ve ever seen the above described contraption though. Thanks for a good laugh!

    • Trev
      December 4, 2021

      Thank you, Libby, glad you enjoyed it. ????

  • SueW
    December 4, 2021

    Not sure how I missed this on the reader first thing this morning!
    I love this story, and I have to say I’ve never seen anything like it either! 🙂

    • Trev
      December 4, 2021

      Thank you, Sue. ????

  • Going Batty in Wales
    December 4, 2021

    That was hilarious!

    • Trev
      December 4, 2021

      Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it. ????

  • Lou Carreras
    December 4, 2021

    This would have made a great hit in my home. Xenia would be excited to have fish on the wall that wound up on the flor for her entertainment!

    • Trev
      December 4, 2021

      That’s funnier than the story, Lou. Thank you ????

  • Pied Type
    December 4, 2021

    LOL. Never saw a fish “bowl” like that.

    • Trev
      December 4, 2021

      Thank you. It does seem unique. Then again, it was tat. ????

  • Rosaliene Bacchus
    December 4, 2021

    Oh no!!! Your poor Mom was sadly taken in by the salesman. The goldfish had no idea that their end was near 🙁

    • Trev
      December 5, 2021

      Thank you, Rosaliene ????

  • Herb
    December 4, 2021

    Your poor dad! You painted a good picture of the whole scene. Someone profited off that ridiculous invention but it wasn’t dad.

    • Trev
      December 5, 2021

      Thank you, Herb????

  • Jim Flanigan
    December 5, 2021

    I like the concept of the product, but I’m with your dad on the bathtub filling.

    • Trev
      December 5, 2021

      Thank you, Jim. ????

  • Gibson Square
    December 5, 2021

    The Chinese have missed a trick, they could knock them out cheaply complete with LED flashing lights.

    • Trev
      December 5, 2021

      Lol, these things usually reappear every 30 or 40 years. Thank you ????

  • Invisibly Me
    December 6, 2021

    Awww poor fishies. All that effort to get the damn thing up and the fish kamikaze outta there. I actually love the sound of a Polo fishbowl on the wall as decoration but with plastic fish and some lights inside.

    • Trev
      December 6, 2021

      That sounds quite a good idea, Caz. Thank you. 🙂

  • Kally
    December 7, 2021

    This is so funny.

    • Trev
      December 7, 2021

      Thank you, Kally. Glad you enjoyed it. ????

      • Cheryl, Gulf Coast Poet
        December 7, 2021

        What a comedy of errors! I don’t know who I pity most, the fish or your father! Have a great day, Trev!

        • Trev
          December 7, 2021

          Thank you, Cheryl. 🙂

  • mitchteemley
    December 10, 2021

    Poor little things. After about the 500th circle, they probably locked fins and dove to their death.

    • Trev
      December 11, 2021

      Yes, the whole thing was a complete disaster. Thank you, Mitch. ????

  • bekitschig
    December 11, 2021

    Damn, where can I get one of those?

    • Trev
      December 12, 2021

      I haven’t a clue. I didn’t even know they existed back then until my Mother found one. Thank you, bekitschig. 🙂

  • Klausbernd
    December 16, 2021

    Hi Trev
    We never saw a fish bowl like this.
    You made us laugh but we doubt that the fish would laugh about it as well.
    Have a happy holiday season
    The Fab Four of Cley
    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

    • Trev
      December 16, 2021

      Thank you. Happy Christmas to you all too. ????

  • Dave Kingsbury
    December 19, 2021

    Had to laugh, Trev, at your hilariously told tale! Mind you, I’m not a goldfish …

    • Trev
      December 20, 2021

      Thank you, Dave. ????

  • susiesopinions
    December 24, 2021

    You always come up trumps ????

    • Trev
      December 24, 2021

      Thank you, Susie and a Merry Christmas to you. ????

  • KINDNESS WISDOM
    January 1, 2022

    Happy New ???? year 2022

    • Trev
      January 1, 2022

      Happy new year to you too ????

  • kutukamuskutukamus
    January 2, 2022

    The toughest bowl (to deal with) I’ve ever heard 🙂

    • Trev
      January 2, 2022

      Thank you ????

  • KINDNESS WISDOM
    January 3, 2022

    Happy New Year Trev ????????

    • Trev
      January 3, 2022

      Thank you and a happy and prosperous new year to you too. ????????

  • JessicaMarieBaumgartner
    January 5, 2022

    My brain is still wrapping around this, but it’s so cool haha

    • Trev
      January 6, 2022

      Thank you, Jessica ????

  • Lakshmi Bhat
    January 12, 2022

    Oh my God ????

    • Trev
      January 12, 2022

      Thank you

  • Trev
    December 21, 2021

    ????????????

  • denise421win
    January 4, 2022

    So funny… I enjoyed the story

  • Trev
    January 4, 2022

    Thank you, Denise. ????