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The BIscuit Auditor

Biscuit Auditor

The biscuit auditor made a spot check visit last week and I got myself into a bit of trouble.

The auditor is of course my wife! She decided to check on the contents of the ‘Custard Creams’ tin and came to the conclusion that someone had been having more than their fair share of these little pieces of deliciousness.

Guilty M’lud

As there’s only the two of us living here, it didn’t take too long to work out who the biscuit kidnapping culprit was. I know, I hold my hands high and plead guilty your honor. It’s hardly the crime of the century though, is it? After all, who can honestly say they can resist the temptation of a Custard Cream or two when you think you’ll get away with it?

Mundane Stuff

Onto more mundane stuff now. I’m running out of space on my blog here and I need to get rid of some of the early posts I made. Actually, I’m surprised how far back the posts go. So, without further ado, I will be taking part in what they call ‘website maintenance’ over the weekend to make room for more pages of daft posts in the future. It’s a kind of Spring cleaning exercise and long overdue.

Stay Safe

I will also be hiding from the wrath of the biscuit auditor, she hasn’t found out about the chocolate hobnobs yet! If I had a virtual ‘probation’ period for the Custard Creams then it’s definitely off to prison for the Hob Nobs!! I will wish everyone a safe and happy weekend as I head off to blog revamp time. See you on the flipside and if my blog is down for any time over the weekend, it’s only a fix-it thing I’m working on. As Arnie says, ‘I’ll be back.’

The Evidence!

61 thoughts on “Biscuit Auditor”

  1. Can’t blame you for swiping more than your share of the Custard Cream biscuits 🙂 All the best with your blog revamp. That’s next on my list once I’ve completed my new author website.

  2. Custard creams were always a favourite also Jaffa cakes and oh dear I don’t know what they are called…like shortbread with bits of raisin. Enjoy the purge!

  3. Reminds me of the poem by William Carlos Williams—just a little note to his wife.

    This Is Just To Say

    I have eaten
    the plums
    that were in
    the icebox

    and which
    you were probably
    saving
    for breakfast

    Forgive me
    they were delicious
    so sweet
    and so cold

      1. I’m self-hosted but I have what’s called an “unlimited” plan with Godaddy. I’m sure there’s a limit somewhere but I’m not sure what and I have been with them a long time. Do you keep archives of your stuff on your computer or when you delete it it will just be gone?

        1. I do keep a copy on my computer. I think mine is an unlimited plan, but when you look into it, they give you a database of 100 mb. ????

  4. Hi Trev, I sympathise. I have given up cake for lent but that doesn’t apply to biscuits, does it? I should never have bought a packet of chocolate digestives, but they were dark chocolate – that’s goood for you, isn’t it? My problem is cheese and crackers. I nibble them when I am cooking tea. I have been told a glass of red wine would be better for me, but it’s got to be a habit.
    I like making people laugh, too but I can never remember jokes. There is humour in all my books but I don’t think they are funny.
    Not much to laugh at at present. Just hoping things will get better soon.

    1. Thank you, Julie. You keep enjoying the biscuits and cheese and crackers. It is a difficult time, but let’s hope there’s light at the end of the tunnel. ????

  5. I’m the biscuit auditor in this house so I empathise with your wife. It’s a tough job finding the culprit, ensuring adequate jail time is done and deciding when to open a new pack of biscuits so you can get your mitts on enough biscuits yourself before the cookie monster(s) eat them all! I’ve opened two packs of HobNobs in the last two days and they’ve all already gone. When you open yours I imagine the same thing will happen. I picked up more in the supermarket and bloody hell, the packs are tiny & the price is ridiculous! They’re on sale in Sainsbury’s for £1, but I’m sure ‘back in the day’ the packs were twice as big… They’ve really got us over the biscuit barrel there. Too good to resist.

    Good luck with the blog revamp and spring clean over the weekend. Want to sort my blog afterwards? xx

    1. Thanks, Caz. She doesn’t need empathizing with thanks. 😉 It’s so easy in our house to find the cuplrit as there’s only the two of us. I’ve had a good go at spring cleaning the blog and from what I can see, it hasn’t made much difference. I am surprised I didn’t mess it up completely and deleted the whole lot. I’d love to sort your blog for you, but you can bet your life that because it’s not mine, it would definitely get deleted. Thanks again, Caz, stay safe. 🙂

  6. The biscuits and website, good ones , while you are maintaining your website you can have biscuits (joking) . Lookong forward for new posts after website maintenance:)

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