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Sofa Wrestling

Every day lately, I seem to be sofa wrestling! I know people think I’ve been overeating as seen in my last post, but this is part of growing older. Inside my head, I’m still 17, honestly, I still think like a teenager most of the time and I think it shows too, especially when I want to get on the PlayStation!

My Brain Says…

Back to this sofa wrestling, I know I’m not alone in this with people of a certain age, but a simple thing like getting up off my backside turns into me seemingly looking as though I’ve been set on fire. Arms flailing about, hips going from side to side with the face contorting like I’ve eaten a bumble bee. My brain says to me, “let’s go into the kitchen and make a cup of tea.” Body replies, “I don’t think so son!!” Certainly not without a fight.

Repair Shop

I know things wear down, just like a car, our ball joints get a little thin and need replacing or the air filter wants cleaning. Maybe I should go to Halfords and see if they can squirt something on my parts. The Postman knocked on the door earlier and by the time I got there, he was almost back in his van ready to drive off. He gave me the ‘you silly old sod’ stare!

Neighbours

One of our neighbours called in the other day and although wifey let her in, I offered to make a cup of tea. Then the foreboding doom of fear came over me as I thought about how I would get off the sofa without looking like a complete pleb in front of her. With two hands and a solid steel determination, I willed myself upright. Have you ever looked at anyone with a smile on your face, yet the pain you’re feeling is excruciating? That’s what I did. Although I spent the next two hours standing and getting strange glances from our neighbour, I wasn’t going to risk sitting again knowing I would have to wrestle my way up later, to see her out.

Off To The Circus

I think part of the problem is the sofa is lower than the last one we had. Add that to the fact my joints are getting rusty and you can see why life is slowly turning into a circus contortionist for me. I would do a lot more walking and simple exercises if only I could get out of the damn sofa in the first place! So, from my cushioned prison I will wish you all a great weekend. Arrrrrggggghh.

If you are interested in Physical Activity for older adults, here’s a website from our national health service.

63 thoughts on “Sofa Wrestling”

  1. Looks like I’m in good company, trying to get off the sofa. A rule I learned early on was “nose over toes.” Get your feet as far under you as the sofa allows and/or scoot forward until your nose is more or less over your toes. It really helps in a lot of situations. Needless to say, I spend a lot of time on the sofa.

  2. Having dismantled my bed on Tuesday, prior to receiving a new one today, I have been sleeping on my mattress on the floor. I am thinking of making my fortune by selling videos of my attempts to go to the loo in the middle of the night!

  3. My old sofa is high enough and firm enough that I can still get off it though I do have to use the ‘nose over toes’ technique Susan R describes. My daughter’s is loxer, deeper (with the cushions removed it is a single bed) and squishier. Not a chance!

  4. Hi Trev, I smile every time I see your blog name come up, it is just so full of humour.
    Your wrestling with the sofa, I would have loved to see a film of it. Maybe you have to start your training from e.g. dining room chair.
    Try Alexander principle. :)) you can look it up.
    Alternatively continue the twisting and funny dance up from a low slung sofa.
    As long as you remain our – silly odd sod–.
    miriam

  5. Me too, in my head, I’m still twenty years old, and I often wonder where the other fifty have fled to.
    However, I think that the problem for you is all in the sofa: too low, too soft, too uncomfortable😘

  6. My aging relatives all gave demonstrations of this so I know exactly what you mean and sympathize. My furniture came with the house and fortunately is of the shape and size older people can manage yet is still comfortable. The strange thing in my case is that despite arthritis and a messed up spine I have become more supple now than when I was young. I suspect it’s that my body shape has changed so much and that I stretch all the time to avoid seizing up. Would you consider a different sofa? I don’t like to think of you in contortions. You could strain yourself and that would not be good. Best wishes Trev.

  7. Haha – I’m not quite there yet. Fortunately, our visitors do give us advance warning so we can have the kettle already boiling and they find us suitably perched at the front of the sofa ready to leap into action.

  8. I bought Len an electric recliner several years before he died. Also an adjustable bed with memory foam. That’s the easy part for me. My 17 year old mind has to work with a swollen right knee that wants to drop me to the floor. Yes life at our age can be a challenge 🤬

  9. It doesn’t get any easier either! I sympathise, Trev, I have the same problem on my sofas too. The kitchen also has a recliner with a higher seat. I’m seriously thinking of replacing one of the upstairs sofas with a similar one. 🙂

  10. Wife and I had this very conversation just this morning. We bad-mouthed our sofa with great abandon, accusing it of not keeping up with our advancing physical challenges. We are convinced it is conspiring eventually to consume us utterly. Someone will enter the room and the sofa will emit an indiscreet belch.

    And yes, as musing75 mentioned – getting in and out of the car! Mercy!

  11. I know exactly how it is. My head is saying “What is the issue? You’re only 67 FFS!!” but my body is saying “WTF … you’re nearly 68, so ease off you old f*rt!!”

  12. I can relate to most of that. Isn’t being 17 wonderful? It also reminds me of a performance Billy Connolly gave on Parkinson, talking about the myriad of noises he found he was making doing the simplest of things – like getting up from a chair, sitting back down again, an’ all. It was hilarious.

    1. Thank you, Dave. I have no idea why this took so long to get through. Yes, I know exactly what you mean about the mechanical hoist. 🙂

  13. 😂😂😂😂 I enjoyed this post so much. I am inspred to take care of myself a little bit more. I hope you find a more comfortable chair and take care of yourself.

    1. You’re definitely not alone. I try and walk and keep as active as I can, so when I get home the first thing I do is sit down on the sofa and wham. You know the story. Thank you and thank for sharing the story. 🙂

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