The Wrong Trousers

Sometimes, a wardrobe malfunction happens not only to the ladies but the men too! Like the wrong trousers at your son’s wedding would seem disastrous, but there can be a funny side.

Best Man

Around 30 years ago a good friend of mine, Don, asked me to be best man at his wedding. No problem, I was honoured to be asked. We had been friends since primary school days so we knew each other and our immediate families inside out. As with any wedding planning, especially where guys are concerned, a date is set and then forgotten about. When the date approaches, things start to happen, which usually involve copious amounts of alcohol, trying on strange uniforms called suits and generally turning up at set times in locations you would not usually be seen anywhere near!

Let’s Get Dressed

Don was hiring suits for his big day and he, myself and his Dad took ourselves off to a local menswear hire shop to get measured up. Don and I were average young guys, so our suits were straight off the peg. However, his Dad, Stan faced a bit of a problem. As a young man, Stan had been involved in a particularly nasty car accident. As a result, he was left with one leg shorter than the other. You can see the immediate problem that his trousers would have to be altered to fit properly. Not an issue, the menswear company had a long tradition of providing first-class dress wear for men who were all shapes and sizes, including legs and arms shorter than the other.

Looking A Million Dollars

Measurements all taken, styles of suits chosen and special requirements noted for Stan’s trousers. That was it as far as we were concerned. Part of my best man duties was to collect the outfits on the morning of the wedding. I had my appointment at 12:00 pm and I was there, on the dot. The shop closes at 1:00 pm on a Saturday, so I dare not have been late. All suits packed and placed in the boot of my car and I was off to Don’s to get suited and booted. We both looked a million dollars compared to how we normally dress. However, there was a problem.

Oh Dear

You’ve probably guessed that they had got the wrong trousers for Stan. Well, not quite the wrong trousers, but they had altered the trouser legs the opposite way to how they should have been. After his accident, his left leg was nearly 2 inches shorter than his right leg. The trousers from the menswear hire shop had the right leg nearly 2 inches shorter and so the left leg was way too long. The left leg could be turned up, but there wasn’t much you could do to alter the right trouser leg to fit! By now you might have also guessed that the hire shop would be closed and the wedding was at 3:00 pm so we were truly up s*** creek without a paddle. What a predicament.

Pants!

In the end, we had to improvise. The trousers we were all wearing were black and fortunately, Stan had a pair of black trousers in his wardrobe. They weren’t perfect, but they were a lot better than going to the wedding looking like a clown from Billy Smarts circus. I’m pleased to say, the rest of the day went well and Don is still happily married although Stan is no longer with us. Although we were annoyed initially, down the years we have laughed many times over the wrong trousers.