Who Are You?

It happened to me once, late at night, a stranger in my face shouting “Who are you?” There were a few more expletives involved, but I will keep the story clean.

Cheap Break

Let me explain and yes, this story actually happened, it’s not one of my made-up things. At the time, we had two young daughters in tow so it must have been around 1990. Desperately in need of a few days holiday by the sea, one of the red top newspapers had been offering a weeks holiday for four in a luxury caravan at a site of their choosing in September. All for the princely sum of £9 and a few tokens that had to be collected by buying their newspaper. I wouldn’t normally be seen dead with such a ‘rag’, but at this time the offer was too good to miss.

Excitement

When I first booked the holiday through the newspaper I hadn’t told the wife wanting to keep it a secret surprise. However, the excitement was too much for me to keep it bottled up and so one night in the summer, I blurted out the whole story. She didn’t mind I had said nothing and was happy that I had gone to the trouble and time of booking the break.

On Our Way

September soon rolled around and the weather was perfect. I loaded the car with cases and clothes and most of the rest of the house and off we set. We ended up at a place called Wall Park which is located in a beautiful part of the world, Brixham, Devon. A sprawling site of caravan after caravan that seemed to stretch out forever. It also had its own clubhouse and entertainment centre, although I wasn’t expecting too many late nights with two young daughters with us.

The Sun Was Shining

I booked us all into reception and they gave us the keys to our caravan which was at the back of the park. It seemed a long journey to get there, but we found it. Quite confusing really as all the caravans are very similar and placed in row after row with a little space at the side for a car.



That first day was filled with great excitement for all of us. The sun was shining and we managed to get to the beach and enjoy a few hours, making memories, eating ice cream and generally relaxing. It’s a very steep hill back to the caravan site and by the time we got back, everyone was very tired. The girls were in bed by 7:00 pm and the wife was nodding off. Although I was tired, I decided to pop up to the clubhouse and check things out.

Midnight

It was a busy place and had some great live entertainment including music and comedians. Probably, because I was so relaxed and tired, I had one beer too many! Before too long it was midnight and I started making my way back to our home for the next few days. Things look so different in the dark too. After a long walk I finally found the caravan and my car was parked up safely beside it. The lights were out so I thought my wife must have gone to bed after such a tiring day. What surprised me was she had left the door unlocked, but she must have done so thinking I may not have taken the keys with me.

Who Are You?

I got inside, put the lights on and turned on the TV and made sure I didn’t have the volume up too loud. I also filled the kettle and set about looking for coffee to make a bedtime drink. The kettle boiled and I went to pour the water in my mug when the bedroom door opened and there stood a man that I had never seen in my life! “Who the hell are you?” raising his voice loudly. I shouted back, “Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my bedroom?” He was looking angry and came towards me at a fair old pace. “This is my caravan, now what the hell are you doing in here?” I was confused and then it dawned on me that he could be right, I might be in the wrong caravan! I explained that I had been to the club and if this was his caravan, then I had made a genuine mistake and I would leave immediately!

Apologies

He wasn’t happy and understandably so. His wife, by now, had made an appearance and she looked scarier than he. I was embarrassed and edged my way closer to the door. I apologised profusely and said that my caravan must be the one next door which it was. Thankfully, the door was still unlocked so I was able to make my exit as quickly as possible. They didn’t follow me and when I got back to my proper caravan, the lights were on and my wife was still up. She let me in and said, “You’re late aren’t you?” There wasn’t much I could say, but I did explain that I had made a big mistake and upset our neighbours.

Embarrassed

Next morning, still feeling sheepish over the night before, I dragged back the curtains just enough to see how the land was lying. Much to my delight, I could see our neighbours packing up their car, so they were leaving. It would save me any further embarrassment. It’s probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my whole life. I am pleased to say the rest of the holiday was a great success.

Wall Park is no longer there, but Brixham is a beautiful place to visit.